Hi! It’s that time of the week again: helpful blogging tips from Abby! And this week, we’re going to talk about how to get people to unfollow or completely ignore your blog!
It’s useful to have a very low amount of followers – all the pros know this – because you need room for the other people who want to follow! Otherwise, you’re just going to have a HUGE number. And we can’t let that happen, now can we? 😉 😉 😉
be unoriginal
Post just like everybody else. Readers hate it when you are exactly the same as any other blogger! Eventually, they’ll get disinterested and unfollow. It’s really easy and sure to cut your numbers!
never change
Be the same. Never try to change. Never try anything new. Keep the same design, style, anything.
And never, NEVER try anything out of your comfort zone. You’ll never realize what works and what doesn’t, so you’ll stay at your same level.
be disrespectful
Here’s a quick story! Once upon a time, I was subscribed to this blog. The blogger put up a post arguing for an opinion I did not agree with. I don’t get offended often and took it with good grace. That is, until she mentioned a particular person who didn’t agree with her and said some hateful words about them.
She lost a follower that day. The end.
talk about yourself… all the time.
Never stop talking about yourself. Even if the post isn’t about you, find a way to weave yourself in there and talk about what you’re eating for lunch.
New readers aren’t here for you. They’re here for what you can give them. To stop them from subscribing in the first place, don’t give them anything beneficial or relatable to their lives. Just bombard them with repetitive facts about yourself. It’s bound to work!!
have bad graphics
People like pretty things! They enjoy pictures that please their eyeballs! They adore nice, interesting layouts.
People don’t like bright cyan and neon pink all over their computer screen. Their eyeballs hurt from staring at pixelated free stock images. And don’t even mention Comic Sans font…. *shutters*
don’t be consistent
How to not get any followers at all in two easy steps!
- Never ever post.
- Repeat.
count on stats and only stats
If you want to serve your followers less and less, think like this: stats don’t represent real life people. They represent COLD HARD CASH. So treat them like it! Mention sponsors in every post, nonstop. Tell everyone in a ten mile radius to follow you and get upset when people don’t follow after they’ve commented like three times on your blog.
keep to yourself
NEVER EVER EVER COME OUT OF YOUR CORNER OF THE INTERNET. Never comment or visit other blogs. I know it might be tempting to take a peek at what other people have to say and maybe even learn from them, but that’ll only grow your audience. Better not to risk it.
Don’t you just hate it when people follow your blog, especially after all the hard work to make them go away. I totally without a doubt wish they would all unsubscribe. *shakes head sadly*
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Haha! Great tips! I remember I used to post posts with just like one paragraph and no pictures. XD 😉 I am very glad to have better graphics, pictures and longer posts 😉 XD
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Hooray for improvement! xD Yeah sometimes my old formatting gets to me, too 😛
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Congrats, you have mastered the art of sarcasm! Honestly, i HATE new subscribers… XD
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Why! Thank you! bows grandly
Pft, so do I. They’re so annoying.
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haha I see what you did here 🙂 I’m a very sarcastic person too lol. Also I love the gif from The Lego Movie 😂
I’d have to add never responding when people comment on your posts and also not being inviting (if that makes sense? idk)
This was an enertaining post!
xx
EM
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Hehe. Sarcastic-ness.
Yeesss good ones! I get what you mean, like when people simply state the facts without being relatable.. sort of hard to put into words but yeah 🙂
Thanks Em!! ❤
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Um
IS TODAY BACKWARDS DAY OR SOMETHING XDDD I KNOW ITS NOT APRIL FOOLS BUT IM CONFUSED XDDD
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winks heavily 😉 😉 😉
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THE LEGO MOVIE!! YAAS!!!
Gosh I hate it when people do these things. These are the BEST ways to get people to unfollow your blog… even if it means everybody XD
Nice post Abby!!
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xD this comment made my day Anna!! Thanks!
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Ofc!!
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Make your blog look like everyone else’s blog.
Review a book that literally a hundred of your blog friends have just reviewed.
Wiggle the camera! Wildly!
use As muchh bAd grammer an speling az u cann
PUT EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS AND PUT A MILLION EXCLAMATION POINTS AFTER IT!!!!!1!!!!
Ramble on and on and on about everything and anything and don’t stop rambling until everyone leaves and you’re just sitting alone in the theater talking to yourself like an idiot and a moron without friends or life or home who has no future and will probably end up in an asylum or a busted mobile home or in a Mcdonald’s drive thru.
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LOL YOU’RE AN EXPERT AT THIS
“Wiggle the camera! Wildly!” xD
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LOL right?
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Such a great way to go about talking about this subject! 😄 Loved this post!!
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Thanks Julia!! ❤
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Haha that was funny!! 🙂
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Thanks Liz! 💙💙
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Haha great tips! I definitely want do decrease my number of followers. I just got 200, but boy I just wanna drag them down. There are too many of them! 😉 (p.s just kidding, I love all you amazing people)
Also, are you still in AAWC?
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Oh yeah, followers are awful. 😬😆
Umm no cringes lots I’ve got tons and tons of things going on rn irl and my whole schedule is just insane and I can barely write my own book screams i’m so so sorry and I didn’t tell you earlier sorry!!!
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XD
That’s alright, Abby! Thanks for telling me. 🙂
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YES, the Lego Movie GIF!!! This was great, Abby! Makes me want to go watch some Blimey Cow videos, and savor some more good old fashioned sarcasm. 😀 Your point on never changing is a good one. I actually really enjoy your random posts; you have a talent for humor and a real delight/interest in your topics that always makes me want to read whatever you post. 🙂
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BLIMEYCOW! Jordan is my teacher xD
Actually coughs it’s funny you mentioned that, because I’m going to be making a move to more serious and professional posts soon. Like sure they’ll have gifs and sarcasm but less random topics like this. I wanted to be more focused on the advice and encouragement i’m giving than the humor, you know?
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Yeah, I’m excited to see what the “new look” will be for your blog, but I’m still going to savor all the crazy while I still can. ;D
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I just peaked 100 followers today, and promptly had an anxiety attack as to how I’m supposed to get rid of them all. This post brings such relief to my troubled mind. Thank you for teaching me how to ditch all 100 of them in one fell swoop—I feel like a new woman.
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bows you’re welcome, ma’am.
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Omgoodness, the sarcasm in this is the best! 😂
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hehe thank you!
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Wait, you were serious?! I thought you were just kidding.
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haha! was i that convincing? no, not serious 😋
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Yes actually. Oh, phew!
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xD
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“Never come out of your corner” lol yeah cause there’s these things called humans out there 😅
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This post is sooo helpful and yes well done well done with the sarcasm beautifully written.
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thank you thank you, my work here is done 😏
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